Not To be The Lover Of Anyone? Leaving aside the moral and the theme of religion, really being the or the lover of someone who already has a partner has its disadvantages and you’d better take them into account so that you do not suffer the consequences.
Attention: This post is directed to those people who have the hope that the clandestine couple decides to formalize the relationship, leaving their family aside to be with you. (If you really enjoy being in a relationship like that and do not expect to get anything serious with that person, this post is not valid for you.) In the end I will mention why). But before I recommend you also watch the following video:
Hey, think about it. The kind of person (man or woman) with whom you maintain that relationship of lovers, already in itself has a clear characteristic in your personality that will not benefit you (in case the relationship between you is given, and if it is that you are lucky to be that 5% relationship of lovers that happen to be formalized). Being with you already is demonstrating that he is a lying person and that he is not capable of facing problems to his face.
I already want to see you in that relationship with that guy (or that guy) and worrying about you being unfaithful when they have the typical arguments of a couple. This is the reason of Not To be The Lover Of Anyone.
It’s a placebo that you enjoy a lot more being married. If that same person was not with your current partner, you would not feel the danger of having sex with him or her and would be just one more of the lot. That person, in a parallel world where he was not married, you would have dismissed immediately.
Therefore, you do not want or love the person himself. You love the situation that you are living by your side. And be careful that you say that you love him / her; you will be deceiving yourself more than you imagine. The person is loved as such, not the situation in which she is involved or with what is added. This is another reason of Not To be The Lover Of Anyone.
Being the second option of someone will have serious negative repercussions at an unconscious level. In my opinion, this is the most important reason why you should consider leaving that relationship because your unconscious receives this kind of message will be very difficult then to make you believe otherwise. Your unconscious will interpret it as: “I am not worth enough to deserve a complete love and that is always thinking of me”, so your self-esteem will suffer, you will feel on the floor and begin to develop another deplorable strategy to feel better: compete through the ego.
Do you need to get away from an ex that hurts you or is it no longer worth it but it is very difficult? This is also another reason of Not To be The Lover Of Anyone.
By competing for ego, you are no longer fighting for the love of that unhappy married man, but you are on the lookout for taking away the partner of that good wife who gave him the children he loves so much. Definitely he will make you believe that his relationship with his wife is wrong but he knows perfectly well that this is wood for your internal fire to increase and you want to possess it exclusively for you.
Do not kid yourself, you’re competing for the wrong reasons. Not for love. But out of pride, believing that by winning this battle you will have the inner reward of feeling more attractive and loved. And in fact, you will feel that way for a brief moment; but then it will vanish and you will probably feel the real root of the problem: not having healed the wounds of your past. This is one of the best reasons of Not To be The Lover Of Anyone.
In certain cases (no longer in all), the reason why you get involved in that relationship of lovers is for an unresolved family affair, you have an inner child hurt. In fact, fighting for the love of that married man is a frustrated attempt and a direct interpretation of your struggle for the absent father you had in childhood and adolescence.
Think seriously: If you solved the problem at the root, going to therapy to heal that inner child, would you really want to heal wrongly the wounds of your past? Would you really be living in hiding, stressed out, even feeling increasingly devalued by someone who in the end will always prefer to be with your family?
Have you been two years behind that person whose speech is only repeated over and over again? I am going to tell you something that you already know but that you may always forget: Those who promise too much fulfill very little.
You are tied to a person who knows how to speak to you beautifully when there are people who can surprise you and brighten the day with actions.
You say that single men disappoint you a lot; but you are about to feel the remorse of having lost the best years of your youth next to someone who only sold you smoke. In addition, those two years that you dedicate to maintaining that clandestine relationship (and hopefully you are not like those readers who confessed to me that they were up to 10 years in that relationship), it would be useful to dedicate yourself to meet people who are available. Maybe in that couple of years 9 types are not what you expected but one of them yes.
It’s all about statistics. The more you try, the closer you will get.
Now, there is another type of people who are in that relationship because they enjoy it as such. They do not plan to remove the husband from the wife. You cannot imagine a life next to that guy. They know that they only want some sex without commitment (and I mentioned them to you at the beginning of the article). Although you do not believe it, this type of people is respected because they even put their rules so they do not make you suffer over time. In this case, it depends on the person if he decides to continue or not; as long as it really is not hurting anyone.
While those who are in such a relationship and never achieve their goal (to take over the clandestine couple permanently), they would do everything to please another couple that they do not see through the eyes of others: that they really are in a relationship that only makes you lose the best years of your life.
Unless, being truly sincere with yourself, you do not feel able to be the other kind of lover ; You better not play with fire, and keep in mind that you need some psychological support to get ahead and change paradigms. This is the final reason of Not To be The Lover Of Anyone.